News of the Weird

Being a semi-regular compendium of human folly, frailty, and fractiousness

Well, duh

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty announced this week that, contrary to cross my heart and hope to die promises made during last May's election, he won't be able to eliminate the budget deficit by 2014. Seems Jimbo was the last person on Earth to find out about this here "Great Recession" thingee we got goin' on. That means all the pie in sky tax cut promises, contingent on balanced budgets, are out the window too. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me three times…

Pre-Occupied

It's time most of the Occupation forces moved on. Around the world, civic reactionaries are moving in to evict them, and their resistance is threatening to transform the movement into merely a battle over their right to squat in public spaces. I'm not saying the fight is over. On the contrary, we need to recognize that Occupation was a tactic, not a goal. It's time to find new ways to keep up the pressure on the 1%.

Well, Duh, Part II

Speaking of the 1%, Toronto retail consultant Wendy Evans, quoted in the Toronto Star, reports they're doing just fine, thank you. "Luxury is just moving so fast," Evans says. "There's (sic) line-ups at the luxury counters. It's quite remarkable. There's a subset of our population that is just not aware there are some economic hiccups out there."

What Does Penguin Gravy Taste Like?

Buddy and Pedro, the male African penguins at the Toronto Zoo who have formed a same-sex bond, have become international media stars. Despite the global attention for the city's beleaguered zoo, Toronto mayor, Rob Ford, has reportedly refused to visit, saying he always spends Remembrance Day weekend with his family at the cottage. Your correspondent has been unable to confirm reports that Toronto councillor Giorgio Mammoliti has been seen at the Zoo attempting to film Buddy and Pedro with his video camera.

And You Want to be My Latex Salesman

Seinfeld fans might remember the episode wherein the hapless George Costanza crashes to the floor, pants around ankles as he rushes from the bathroom. If you've forgotten, Texas governor Rick Perry, who wants to be president of the United States, will remind you with his debate performance from earlier this week.

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