Census Nonsense

Who'da thought the country would get all worked up over the census? And in the middle of the summer, too.

Every five years, we have a national census. Most of us fill out a short form. About one in five of us is selected at random to complete a longer, more detailed version. The Harper government wants to make filling out the longer version voluntary. So what's the big deal?

Think of the country as a classroom. If you want to know whether or not the class understands, say the Pythagorean Theorem, you have to give the test to everybody. Just asking the keeners who put their hands up won't give you an accurate picture. Same for the census.

If you make filling out the longer version voluntary, the kind of people who'll do so won't form a representative sample of the country as a whole. In fact, they'll be a certain kind of person; same for those who won't (insert stereotypes here).

And the data you collect not only won't be reliable, it also won't be directly comparable to the data gathered from all the previous censuses. And did I mention all this voluntariness costs $30 million dollars more than doing it the usual way?

So why are the Tories doing this? Good question.

Forget all the nonsense about going to jail for refusing to fill out the long-form. No one ever has. And anyway, if the government wants to get rid of that provision in the legislation, they can; I'm sure no one would object. This is what's called "changing the channel" in political circles.

The Tories themselves have given an ideological reason: some people don't like giving information to the government. They haven't provided any data to back up this assertion and it sounds like they bought it ready-made off a Tea Party website. Anyway, they haven't said we won't have to tell the government how much money we made come tax time, or whether we've had anything to drink tonight when we get pulled over in a R.I.D.E. spot check, so that's just another red herring.

Many people suspect the real reason is, in fact, ideological though: the census reveals inconvenient truths that don't agree with the Tories' fantasy view of the world. Stockwell Day's recent musings about the need to build prisons for the perpetrators of unreported crimes provides a good example. Statistics show crime rates are falling, but if the Tories want to build prisons, that's embarrassing. Critics suspect the Tories would like to wish homelessness, poverty, inequality, and a host of other social issues away. It'll be easier if there's no census data available to contradict them.

Good public policy, not to mention sound business decisions, requires accurate information, not wishful thinking. That's why the Tories have encountered opposition over their action not just from provincial and municipal governments, but also from not-for-profits and businesses. It's a tough world out there; Canada can't afford to fight blindfolded with one hand tied behind its back. That's why this latest boneheaded move by the Harper Conservatives matters.

The Return of the Wetsuit

Seems the wetsuit was hanging right there in the closet all along. And this week it stepped out, loud and proud.

Undeterred by decades of falling crime rates ("Statistics: we don't need no stinking statistics"), Treasury Board Secretary Stockwell Day announced the deficit-strapped federal government was spending $9.5 billion -- that's with a "b" -- on new prisons for -- wait for it -- imaginary prisoners!

Seems he believes a lot of crimes go unreported (he's probably right, especially if stupidity in elected officials is a crime), but he declined to elaborate on how the theoretical criminals would be apprehended and convicted so they could be put in the brand, spanking new fantasy Club Feds.

Seems to me Stock could be on to something though. I mean, the original price tag for the G8/20 summit ballooned from $179 million to $1.2 billion (there's that "b" word again), and what happened? The hooligans were given free rein to burn police cars while the police arrested hundreds of innocent people and then released them without charge.

So if the Conservatives are looking for ways to waste a few more billions of our tax dollars, I have some helpful suggestions.

1. Not just crime is down: so are auto sales. So let's build roads! We could call them Harper Highways: they'd have only right lanes, all their bridges would be burned, and every one would be a dead-end.

2. Communism may be dead, but there's still Cuba and North Korea and that pesky Al Qaeda to worry about. We could blow $16 billion (I know) on new fighter jets. That ought to deter them. What? We're already doing that? Damn, you can't even make this stuff up.

3. OK, I got a good one: how about we gut next year's census so the information is totally worthless, and -- this is the best part -- it will actually cost $30 million more! You're kidding. This is harder than I thought.

4. I know, we'll build an artificial lake, see, and... Oh, for cryin' out loud!

5. All right then, how about this: a national program to detect and treat scurvy. You know, that scourge of all true Canadians; it's right there in the history books. You can look it up. A few billion ought to suffice to establish a national network of treatment centres to feed patients a diet rich in Alberta beef. Unnecessary? Won't work, you say? Obviously you're not a Conservative. Medical science (and all other science) be damned; trust your gut. Stephen Harper told us to.

I'm sure you have ideas of your own. Write or email the P.M. or your M.P. Tell them you'd like to get in on the fun.

The Mint Julep

After a few weeks diversion, it's back to summer cocktails. While summer may be half over, the back yard still beckons and there's still plenty of time to relax with one of summer's most enjoyable cocktails.

The Mint Julep, admittedly, is not for everyone. The popularity of brown liquors in cocktails has waned in the last few decades, and bourbon is not widely appreciated in Canada. That's a pity, because if you're willing to give it a try, the Mint Julep offers some mighty fine contemplative sipping for a lazy, late summer afternoon.

Bourbon is an American whiskey (they spell it with an "e" following Irish tradition; Canadians follow the Scotch spelling, without) made primarily from corn, and usually in Kentucky. It must be aged in charred oak barrels for a minimum of two years, though most are aged longer. It is at least 40% alcohol by volume (80 proof), though some varieties are stronger. Bourbon has aromas and flavours of toffee, dried fruit, and vanilla, among others. Those who enjoy it "neat", or straight, add a splash of water to allow the flavours to open up. Some prefer a few ice chips instead. Some decry this as heresy.

Jim Beam is one brand you can always find in Ontario, and if you want to try the Mint Julep, but not sure you'll ever drink the rest of the bottle, miniatures are sometimes available. Or use it in cooking: it's a great ingredient in barbeque sauce.

Maker's Mark is a premium brand, but very expensive in Ontario compared to its price in the U.S. If you're traveling south of the border and want to bring a Bourbon home to try, Maker's Mark is a good choice.

My personal favourite is Wild Turkey 101. Rarely available in Ontario (though "regular" 80 proof Wild Turkey sometimes is), it's one of the reasons I look forward to a trip to the U.S. High in alcohol and almost viscous, it is intensely flavourful. Add a little ice and those flavours slowly unfold. A fine sippin' whiskey.

In the days before refrigeration, Southerners added mint to their Bourbon to provide a cooling sensation in the summer and violà, the Mint Julep was born. It retains a strong association with the American South: for example, it is the traditional drink sipped at the Kentucky Derby. About 120,000 are downed each year.

As with most cocktails, there is debate over the "proper" way to prepare them, so what you're getting is my version. Feel free to alter the recipe to suit yourself.

Muddle three or four mint leaves in the bottom of a Collin glass with 1/2 ounce of simple syrup. Add 2 ounces of Bourbon and fill with crushed or shaved ice. Stir well, garnish with a mint leaf, and sip through a straw. Hum a few verses of My Old Kentucky Home.

A Week in Boston – Part 2

During our week in Boston, we stayed in a Hyatt Summerfield Suites hotel in suburban Waltham. Intended primarily as longer stay, executive accommodation for the many high tech firms in the area, we shared a two-bedroom, two-bath suite with another couple. The rate for a two-bed suite isn't that much more than for a one-bed, but sharing effectively cut our room rate in half. Our suite also had a full kitchen and living area. Parking, wi-fi, breakfast, and a light evening meal Monday through Thursday were all complimentary. The hotel also had a pool, spa, fitness room and business center. A complimentary hotel shuttle operated in a six-mile radius. It's a great choice for families or groups of friends like us.

We got even greater value by taking advantage of a little-known offer available at Costco. Members can purchase $100 worth of Hyatt check (sic) certificates for $80, effectively taking 20% off their rate. You simply use them like cash when you check out. There was a Costco a few minutes away and I called ahead to make sure there were some in stock (stores sometimes run out). I know it sounds almost too good to be true, but it's for real.

And remember: no matter which hotel you stay at, check to see if it's part of a chain. If so, go online and sign up for the loyalty program. It doesn't matter if you'll never stay there again; in your member profile you can set your earnings preference to earn points in the airline miles plan of your choice instead of the hotel's plan.

We stayed in Waltham because hotel rates in Boston, especially in summer, are very expensive. By sharing a two-bedroom suite and using the check certificates, we saved at least 75% off the price of a room in a downtown hotel. But we still had to get downtown.

Fortunately, Boston has an extensive and inexpensive transit system, the MBTA, or "T". A week-long pass cost only $15. We drove to the nearby station, parked for $5.75 a day, and took a 35-minute ride into the city. Inconvenient, yes, but our group of four couples saved literally thousands on the cost of accommodation.

And when I got home, I got a piece of good news. You may recall my writing on March 31 about for-a-fee U.S. dollar credit cards available from Canadian banks, which save you the 2.5% "foreign currency conversion fee" you're charged if you use your Canadian credit card in the U.S. I mentioned that BMO waived the $25 annual fee the first year for my card, but the good news in the mail when I got home was that if I spend $1,000 per year (no problem there), the fee will be waived every year from now on. So, to summarize: get the card and save 2.5%; spend $1,000 per year and it's free.

Cheaping out when you travel robs you of most of its pleasure, but finding ways to save money lets you travel more and leaves you with more money for the things you enjoy.

A Week in Boston -- Part 1

Nothing turns out exactly the way you plan.

I'm just back from a week in Boston. Some of the things I did, I hadn't planned on, and I didn't do some of the things I was looking forward to, but it was an interesting and enjoyable time anyway.

For example, I hadn't planned on being hit by a cyclist while crossing the street (he was running a red light on the curb side of a van). No serious damage, just shaken up and a bruised forearm.

I didn't get to the Boston Brewing Company, home of Sam Adams Boston Lager. Sam Adams brews were available everywhere -- the Sam's Summer Ale was especially tasty as a lunch-time beer -- so a long subway ride to the brewery just didn't seem worth it. I've seen plenty of breweries. I didn't eat at Cheers either, but I did make it to the gift shop in the Quincy Market for a few souvenirs.

I did get to Watch City Brewing in Waltham, though. No bacon-flavoured beer, but plenty of other weird and wonderfully flavoured brews made on site and great food. Recommended. And everywhere we ate, there were locally brewed beers of high quality. I tried as many as I could.

For me, the most memorable parts of a holiday are often the things you didn't know about until you stumbled upon them. Most memorable taste was the scallops at Legal Seafood in Boston. Grilled simply, they were still the slightest bit translucent on the inside -- perfection. And most memorable meal was lunch on the rooftop deck at 7th Wave in Rockport on Cape Ann, an hour north of Boston. A breeze off the ocean on a hot day, a view of the harbour, and a new sandwich discovery -- how come no one thought of this before? -- the smoked salmon BLT.

Most over-rated restaurant was Giacomo's on Hanover Street in the North End's Little Italy. TripAdvisor rates it #4 of nearly 2,000 Boston restaurants and #1 for Italian food. It's small and crowded and the line forms before the doors open at 5:00. The prices are reasonable, especially for wine, and while the food is good (not great), the atmosphere is more fast food than fine dining. Cash only, no desserts. Go across the street to Mike's Pastries.

There was also a Red Sox game, a day-long bus tour of the city, the Common, Freedom Trail, the Aquarium, the Market, and Harvard. Probably my favourite day, the day spent touring the campus and some of the museums reminded me that learning and scholarship still do matter in a world that sometimes seems dominated by reality TV and Shakespalin.

Next post, I'll write about our accommodations, getting around Boston, and some ways we found to make our holiday more affordable.