The Power of One

Ever wanted to be supreme benevolent dictator of Canada? To have your every whim catered to, your every mood indulged? To impose your beliefs and values on the unwilling majority? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women? Bwahahaha!

Yeah, me too. Anyway, apparently now you, too, can know what it feels like to be Stephen Harper. Sort of.

This past week, federal Industry Minister Tony (Census Slayer) Clement stuck to his (long) guns and maintained that even one dissenting Canadian was enough to kill the long form census.

Yep: angry Agnes Grumbledrawers of Lower Moose Doot, Manitoba was responsible for killing the long form census.

Makes you wonder who was behind the attempt to get rid of the long gun registry. (I'm sensing a pattern here)

You understand the implications don't you? This means that from coast to coast to coast, all through the length and breadth of this great land, not a single, solitary Canadian objects to paying federal income tax. What a nation of selfless troupers! Makes me proud. I shed a tear. But I digress.

No, the real implication here is that you and I too, can deep-six laws and programs we don't like. Just call Tony; he'll get right on it. Talk about democracy in action.

Peeved at the Post Office? Cursing the Coast Guard? Fed up with Fisheries and Oceans? Tell Tony; they'll be gone. Just. Like. That.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work in reverse: you can't just call Tony and ask for something you want. Tony ain't Santa. There are limits, even to Tony's superpowers. He might be able to make gazebos sprout like mushrooms all across Muskoka for the G8 meeting, but he can't actually deliver anything substantial. Want a national pharmacare or eldercare program? Sorry, no. How about decent treatment for wounded veterans? Uh-uh. Action on climate change? Dream on.

All you cranky old gals and grumpy old men out there (I know you secretly read this blog), I know why you love the Conservatives: they aren't just the party of "no"; they're the party of, "HELL NO!" So here's your chance. Just click on this link to send Tony your request.

What about me, you ask. Well, you might be surprised. Me, I'm going to ask Tony to zip it. I figure if those separatist fellas in Quebec get wind of this, we'll be looking at another referendum by Christmas. And this time it won't take a Yes vote of 50% plus 1. Just the 1.