Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Fox Noise North

Yesterday, Quebecor Media announced that it would be launching a right-wing news channel, Sun News, already being dubbed "Fox News North".

Promising "hard" news during the day, and "straight" talk at night, Quebecor's channel is expected to join other right-wing broadcasters such as CTV, Global, and Rogers, all hoping to grab a piece of the lucrative erectile dysfunction advertising dollar.

Details are still sketchy at this point, but Give Me 500 Words has obtained an outline of Sun News' tentative program lineup:

Liberals Make Me Puke!

Law and Order

Are You Smarter Than a First Grader?

Law and Order

Alberta's Got Talent

Law and Order

The O'Leary & O'Leary Exchange

Law and Order

The Good Wife (Belongs at Home)

Law and Order

Why Don't You Learn English?

Law and Order

Two and a Half Tier Health Care

Law and Order

Support Our Troops -- Or Else!

Law and Order

Cut My Taxes!

One media analyst expressed concern that Canada's supply of exclamation points, never very large, might be depleted by the new channel. Sources at Quebecor, however, assured investors that a steady supply could be imported from the U.S.

"We realize that Conservative voters make up only a third of the electorate," stated a Quebecor spokesperson, "but we feel they will welcome yet another right-wing cheerleader. After all, they need to be screamed at regularly by angry white men in suits if they're going to be able to successfully ignore reality. We only hope to be as respected and financially successful as the National Post."

2 comments:

  1. I love your sarcasm, and your use of Repetition with Law and Order. Two and a half tier Health Care is very biting! ... scary too. I'm going to use up some of my exclamation points now. So funny!!!

    ReplyDelete