Still Confused?

Previously, I've described how you could tell if you might be turning into a Conservative (If you like your guns long and your census short, you might be a Conservative). You can diagnose yourself by clicking here and here.

However, I know that, for some of you, the fear persists. So, to reassure you, here are some ways to tell that you're definitely not turning into a Conservative.

• You think it's a bad idea to paint a giant bull's eye on the sides of our air force planes.
  
• You'd rather drive a Ford than vote for one.
  
• You think bullying a church-based human rights organization, falsifying a document to make it look like the recommendation of civil servants, and lying about it to a parliamentary committee makes you unfit to be a cabinet minister.
  
• You think you're safer protesting in Cairo than you are in Toronto.
  
• You've played the Tim Hudak drinking game: every time he says, "Ontario families," you take a drink. You were blotto in fifteen minutes.
  
• You think a secret deal to hand over control of Canada's borders and immigration policy to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security is probably a bad deal.
  
• You think that TV and radio stations shouldn't be allowed to broadcast "news" they know is false.
  
• You think, "If we build it, they will come," is not a good enough reason to spend nearly $10 billion on new prisons.
  
• You live in Toronto and you'd rather ride the bus than throw people under it.
  
• You live in Toronto and you wish you could vote in Calgary.
  
• You can think in sentences, not just bumper stickers.
  
• You own a pink bicycle. Extra points if it has plaid fenders.
  
• You admit you read the Toronto Star and watch the CBC.
  

There must be others. Send me you suggestions. I'll publish them.