I Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Sometimes I make stuff up. You know, like Conservatives standing up for democracy and human rights (November 29 post) or Tony Clement being a superhero (October 11 post).

But lately it's been getting harder. I mean, how do you compete with stuff like this?

Fer instance:

The newly-elected millionaire mayor of Toronto invites a millionaire TV sports celebrity who lives in another city to officially inaugurate him. The millionaire media celeb (who derives most of his income from performing his schtik on the public network) agrees, saying "People are sick of the elites and artsy people running the show. It's time for some lunch pail, blue-collar people."

In his inaugural speech, the newly-elected mayor calls on all councillors to work together. The visiting, celebrity (but apparently non-elite) millionaire, opines (while wearing a pink jacket) that pinkos "ride bicycles and everything." He then insults various members of council, calling them "left-wing kooks".

The newly-elected mayor declares, "The war on the car" is over, and moves to kill public transit projects underway. The elites will now have to drive, just like Joe Lunchpail.

Elected on a platform of fiscal responsibility, the mayor's move wastes $130 million already spent and risks incurring financial penalties for reneging on $1.3 billion in contracts already signed and machinery already purchased.

The mayor announces a tax freeze, abolition of the vehicle registration tax (costing $64 million), and his plan to hire 100 more police officers.

The mayor promises to balance the budget without cutting programs. He gets rid of free coffee for councillors. He also plans to cut their office budgets by $20K. Combined, the savings add up to a few hundred thousand.

The new mayor is reported to have a campaign debt of $650,000.

The visiting millionaire TV celebrity predicts the new mayor will be "the greatest mayor this city has ever seen."

Ninety-one Toronto police officers are fined a day's pay for removing their names tags so they couldn't be identified while beating peaceful protesters during the G20. That should eat up a chunk of their overtime.

Toronto police chief Bill Blair attacks the victim of one particularly vicious assault by police, as well as the provincial Special Investigations Unit. He then apologizes. Sort of.

Ontario ombudsman, Andre Marin, in his report on the infamous five metre law, calls it illegal and unconstitutional. It was used to harass, interrogate, and detain without charge thousands of people. Marin says it was requested by Blair. Blair says he regrets not explaining things better.

So far Blair still has his job. No police officers face charges or discipline over the acts of brutality.

Unlike some of his officers, Blair is a stickler when it comes to protecting the rights of the accused -- accused police officer, that is. He explains the delay in identifying the culprits and holding them accountable is because he has to follow procedures to the letter.

Federal auditor general Sheila Fraser finds that the ethics commissioner appointed by Stephen Harper acted unethically toward her staff.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Conservatives Stand up for Democracy

The Harper Conservatives sought to regain the moral high ground today, with a stunning series of announcements intended to burnish the government's democratic and human rights credentials.

The day began with a morning press conference by the Prime Minister himself, where Stephen Harper sharply criticized Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for suspending the Majlis (parliament). Harper called for the immediate re-opening of the Majlis. He asserted, "You can't just shut down Parliament whenever it suits you. It goes against my deepest values to deny the Iranian people the right to have their voices heard."

Shortly after Harper's press conference, Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon, defending the government's three-year extension of Canada's military mission in Afghanistan, attacked the Taliban as, "a bunch of fundamentalist know-nothings, who trample on women's rights and would drag their nation back to the Middle Ages based on their narrow religious views."

Industry Minister Tony Clement was quick to chime in, "It's vital that Canada stay in Afghanistan until we teach the Afghans that official corruption is wrong. It's not OK to waste public money by funnelling it into projects in your own tribal area."

Later, during question period, Defence Minister Peter McKay issued a stern warning to Cuba, after that island nation was reported to have mobilized hundreds of soldiers to assist with relief efforts in the wake of Hurricane Paula. "What the government of Canada objects to is that these troops are being sent into the disaster area without a vote in the National Assembly. Of course, no vote would be required if the relief efforts could be carried out behind secure fences, but these troops are filling sandbags right out in the open."

Michael Ignatieff was quick to condemn McKay's remarks, but then changed his mind and agreed with him.

The day concluded with Public Safety Minister Vic Toews condemning China's recent crackdown on human rights activists in that country. "You can't just allow police to beat innocent people in the streets and then round them up by the hundreds and jail them without charge. Canadians would never stand for such actions. I'm calling on the United Nations and Amnesty International to conduct a full investigation."

Media reaction was overwhelmingly positive. CTV (owned by Bell), Citytv (owned by Rogers), and Global (owned by Shaw) all applauded the government's tough stance, saying Harper has made Canada an example for the world when it comes to defending democratic freedoms and human rights. The CBC also characterized the government's moves as "courageous", after receiving a phone call from John Baird. If the NDP or Bloc said anything, it wasn't reported.

Don’t be Alarmed

Judging by the response to my post of October 16, many of you are concerned that you might be turning into Conservatives. As I pointed out, this is a potentially serious condition that can result in hardening of the arteries leading to the brain, so you shouldn't ignore the warning signs. But neither do I want you to become unnecessarily alarmed: after all, if you're reading this blog, you've already taken the first step on the road to good mental health.

But just in case you require more reassurance, I thought I'd provide the answers to some frequently asked questions sent to me by faithful blog readers.

Q: My forehead is getting bigger. Is that a sign I'm turning into a Conservative?

A: That depends. You might be thinking more, resulting in your brain growing larger. In which case, you're fine. But if your forehead is swollen because you keep smacking it and saying, "D'oh!" you might be turning into a Conservative.

Q: I'm planning a European vacation for next summer and don't want people to mistake me for an American. What should I do?

A: Sew a Portuguese flag patch on your backpack.

Q: I like to watch Hockey Night in Canada. I take all the usual precautions during Coach's Corner: I mute the volume and wear welder's goggles, but still I'm worried I might turn into a Conservative.

A: If you're watching the Leafs, I can't help you.

Q: The Conservatives say they'll cut taxes, but not services, and eliminate the deficit too. This sounds pretty good to me.

A: Run, don't walk, to your nearest elementary school and enrol in a remedial Grade 1 arithmetic class.

Q: Tim Hudak was for the HST before Dalton McGuinty enacted it. Now he's against it, but won't scrap it if he becomes premier. I'm confused.

A: So is Tim Hudak.

Q: I don't see what's so bad about shutting down Parliament, or using the unelected Senate to override decisions of elected MP's. Does that make me a Conservative?

A: Either a Conservative or an ayatollah.

Q: Thank you Mr. 5oo Words for helping keep us safe from creeping Conservatism.

A: No need to thank me; I'm merely performing a public service.

Pre-dinner Cocktails

With the arrival of colder weather in these parts comes the shift to more substantial foods at dinner time: roasts, stews, casseroles and the like. So, too, we put away the lighter, refreshing cocktails of summer in favour of drinks that also have a bit more heft. These tend to rely on herbs and other botanicals infused in wine and spirits, all intended to sharpen the appetite for heartier fare. Another plus: they're very simple to prepare.

Campari is a bitter Italian aperitif, usually served mixed with soda in that country. American tourists preferred a sweeter drink and so the Americano was born. Combine 1 ounce of Campari and 1½ ounces of sweet red vermouth in an old fashioned glass over ice. Stir and enjoy. What could be easier?

Just as easy is the Dubonnet Cocktail. A flavoured French red wine, Dubonnet rouge makes a fine sipper on the rocks with a twist of lemon. To make a Dubonnet Cocktail, mix 1 ounce Dubonnet rouge and 1 ounce gin over ice in an old fashioned glass.

The Negroni is only slightly more difficult to make. To an old fashioned glass containing a few ice cubes, add 1 ounce each Campari, sweet red vermouth, and gin. Stir and sip contentedly while you wait for the oven (or microwave) timer to sound.

Years ago, sherry was a popular before dinner drink, and it plays a role in the following cocktail. We discovered this one at the restaurant of the Westin Harbour Castle hotel in Toronto about a year ago, and it instantly became one of my wife's favourites. It's not difficult to make, but as you'll see, it makes sense to mix a double or triple batch in a measuring cup. You'll need 1 ounce of gin, ½ ounce each of sherry, Dubonnet rouge, and dry white vermouth, and 1 teaspoon of Grand Marnier. Stir all the ingredients together in an old fashioned glass over ice and garnish with a maraschino cherry. Adding a dash of the cherry juice won't hurt. As I mentioned, doubling or tripling the recipe makes it easier to measure the ingredients and more congenial for sharing. The drink is called the European.

So there you are, some classic pre-dinner cocktails ideally suited to cold-weather, early nightfall, and comfort food. Cheers!

I’m Back

Just got back from a few weeks in California. We were there for a family wedding, some visiting, and a little R&R.

Our trip coincided with the mid-term elections there. Now it's tempting for a Canadian (especially one as wise and all-knowing as I) to comment on the state of American politics, but I'm going to (mostly) refrain. America's problems are deeply enmeshed in its social conditions, history, and political traditions: any solutions have to come out of that context, not from the glib prescriptions of outsiders. The issues confronting Americans, and Californians specifically, are so complex, that, frankly, I rarely could think of anything useful to say. And besides, I'm not sure our own politics could withstand close scrutiny any better.

Another thing my brief visit taught me is that Americans are far more diverse than Canadians generally assume. So, mostly, I listened. And while I heard partisans and politicians on both sides purport to have all the answers (well, the victorious Republicans anyway. The Democrats looked liked the dazed survivors of a car wreck), ordinary folk were more ambivalent. While I didn't detect a consensus on any issues, most people I spoke to expressed a simple desire that all sides could work together to find common ground to address the challenges facing their state and nation.

So enough of the serious stuff. What did I do that was fun?

We concluded our trip with a five-day visit to Palm Springs, a part of California we hadn't been to before. It's in the desert about a two hour drive southeast of Los Angeles, nestled in the Coachella Valley, surrounded by mountains, the highest of which reaches nearly 3,300 metres. They block out clouds that would bring rain, making the climate dry, hot, and sunny. While we were there, temperatures ranged from 28C-38C, with humidity of about 25% and plenty of sunshine. In fact, the area boasts 354 days of sun a year. Since temperatures average over 40C for several months in the summer, winter is the peak tourist season.

That makes it popular with retirees, and golf courses and snowbirds abound. Much of the surrounding, and actually interspersed, land belongs to the Agua Caliente Cahuilla Native Americans. They operate various enterprises, including casinos and resorts, but also have preserved ancestral areas for hiking and archaeological investigation.

Palm Springs itself has about 45,000 permanent residents and there are several other contiguous towns and cities, each with its own character. Palm Springs seems the most diverse, with a large artistic and gay/lesbian population. Palm Desert is more upscale, with a shopping street, the Paseo, reminiscent of a mini-Rodeo Drive. Cathedral City seems like the poorer cousin, while we stayed in a hotel and golf/spa resort that was actually in Rancho Mirage, which seemed to be composed largely of golf courses and gated communities.

Gated communities appear to be the dominant residential pattern and that was a bit disconcerting to us. Driving past kilometre after kilometre of wall with only the occasional entrance and gatehouse created a sense that there was no "there" there in some places.

We liked the Palm Springs area: the spectacular mountain scenery, the warmth and sunshine. But if we return we'd probably choose to stay in Palm Springs proper, as there's more to see and do within walking or short-driving distance.

Points follow-up

Since the series of posts on points and miles wrapped up, a couple of items of interest have come my way.

A loyal blog follower informs me that there is an AirMiles app for your smart phone. Put in your location and it will show you the nearest AirMiles partners. Text "AirMiles App" to 26898 to go straight to the download page on your iPhone or BlackBerry.

Until November 4, CHOICEprivileges, the loyalty program of Choice Hotels (Comfort, Quality, Clarion, etc.), is offering a free night when you stay two nights. You can join the program here. Further down the page, you'll also see a link to apply for the affiliated MBNA MasterCard to earn points for all your credit card spending. If you do a lot of road trips and are looking to earn free nights at a budget hotel chain, this could be a good program for you.

Something I did not discuss in my series of posts about point programs, is that for the majority of airline and hotel programs, you may purchase points, either for yourself, or as a gift for others. The problem is that the cost is usually more that the points are worth (i.e.: you could book a flight or room directly for less money), but under certain conditions, buying points does make sense. And occasionally, points do go "on sale".

For example, until December 31, Starwood Preferred Guest is selling points for 20% less -- $14 for 500 instead of the usual $17.50. If you need only a few points to get to a reward level, or if you are close to the 20K threshold for earning the 5K bonus for converting to airline miles, this can make sense. SPG allows you to buy up to 20K points in a calendar year and the points appear in your account within 24 hours.

In some cases, you could even save money on a holiday. That's because when redeeming SPG points for a five-night stay, the fifth night is free, so five nights at a category 3 hotel requires 4x7K=28K points. If you purchase 20K points for $560 before December 31, and another 8K for $280 (at the regular rate of $17.50 per 500) in January, that works out to $168 per night for a five-night stay. For January 20-25, the Sheraton Fort Lauderdale Beach Hotel is $190 per night. The Westin Fort Lauderdale is $229. I chose these hotels and dates at random. Depending on your choice of date and location, you, too, can find values like this. All you have to do is belong to the Starwood Preferred Guest program and buy points through this link. There's a fuller description of the program in the post dated October 4.

And finally, here's an update to the Aeroplan/BMO Club Sobeys MasterCard snafu (see post dated October 7). I received a letter on October 8, dated October 5, confirming what the Club Sobeys CSR had told me over the phone. But since the change did not take effect until October 15, the Club Sobeys points I received for keeping the credit card when Bank of Montreal took over from Citi were autoconverted. So, props to Sobeys, BMO, and Aeroplan for living up to their end of the (original) bargain. I still plan to cancel the card, since I don't have any need for another MasterCard if it doesn't earn me travel rewards.

How to Tell if You’re Turning into a Conservative

None of us, as the saying goes, is getting any younger, and if like me, you find yourself occasionally forgetting names or standing in the upstairs hallway wondering what it was you came looking for, well don't worry: scientists assure us that's just part of the normal aging process.

If however, you find yourself watching more CTV and less CBC, or thinking to yourself, "My, that young Harper boy has such nice eyes," you might be displaying the early warning signs of a far more serious condition. You might be turning into a (shudder) Conservative.

So with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I present the following simple test.

• If you prefer donuts to diplomats, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you believe 33% of anything is a majority, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you've ever had to beg a woman to rescue you from a coalition, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you think an economic action plan should be mostly for sign makers, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you like your gun long and your census short, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you're for law and order but against police chiefs, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you hide behind our troops instead of standing up for them, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you can't land at your own airbase in the Middle East, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you've ever backed down from a fight with a guy who drinks pink wine, you might be a Conservative.
  
• If you're for human rights in China but not Toronto, you might be a Conservative.
  

If you answered "yes" to more than five of the preceding statements, talk to your doctor. Help is available.

Treatment generally takes the form of re-learning a few basic skills: thinking for yourself, but not just of yourself. You'll be back to normal in no time.

The Power of One

Ever wanted to be supreme benevolent dictator of Canada? To have your every whim catered to, your every mood indulged? To impose your beliefs and values on the unwilling majority? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women? Bwahahaha!

Yeah, me too. Anyway, apparently now you, too, can know what it feels like to be Stephen Harper. Sort of.

This past week, federal Industry Minister Tony (Census Slayer) Clement stuck to his (long) guns and maintained that even one dissenting Canadian was enough to kill the long form census.

Yep: angry Agnes Grumbledrawers of Lower Moose Doot, Manitoba was responsible for killing the long form census.

Makes you wonder who was behind the attempt to get rid of the long gun registry. (I'm sensing a pattern here)

You understand the implications don't you? This means that from coast to coast to coast, all through the length and breadth of this great land, not a single, solitary Canadian objects to paying federal income tax. What a nation of selfless troupers! Makes me proud. I shed a tear. But I digress.

No, the real implication here is that you and I too, can deep-six laws and programs we don't like. Just call Tony; he'll get right on it. Talk about democracy in action.

Peeved at the Post Office? Cursing the Coast Guard? Fed up with Fisheries and Oceans? Tell Tony; they'll be gone. Just. Like. That.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work in reverse: you can't just call Tony and ask for something you want. Tony ain't Santa. There are limits, even to Tony's superpowers. He might be able to make gazebos sprout like mushrooms all across Muskoka for the G8 meeting, but he can't actually deliver anything substantial. Want a national pharmacare or eldercare program? Sorry, no. How about decent treatment for wounded veterans? Uh-uh. Action on climate change? Dream on.

All you cranky old gals and grumpy old men out there (I know you secretly read this blog), I know why you love the Conservatives: they aren't just the party of "no"; they're the party of, "HELL NO!" So here's your chance. Just click on this link to send Tony your request.

What about me, you ask. Well, you might be surprised. Me, I'm going to ask Tony to zip it. I figure if those separatist fellas in Quebec get wind of this, we'll be looking at another referendum by Christmas. And this time it won't take a Yes vote of 50% plus 1. Just the 1.

Points 9: The End of the Trail

I'm concluding my series of posts on travel rewards with a recap and a look at some of the best sites and blogs where you can go to learn more.

I was remiss in not including the Shoppers Drug Mart Optimum points program when I discussed Canadians' favourite points programs. Remiss, because it's my wife's favourite program. She likes the store and MBNA has a MasterCard that earns her Optimum points on all her purchases, extra when she uses it at Shoppers. Shoppers also has frequent bonus points days, usually on Saturdays. You redeem for discounts on purchases.

I mentioned Rewards Canada previously, but it's worth reiterating: this is the single best travel rewards site for Canadians. Especially useful are the charts and reviews comparing travel reward credit cards, and the comprehensive listings of bonus offers for airlines, hotels, and rental cars. Both are accessible from the right side of the home page.

A faithful blog reader reminded me that a nice feature of Priority Club was the ability to redeem for hotel rooms with a combination of points and cash. The same is true for Starwood Preferred Guest, though in practice, I've found that most Starwood properties don't offer this option. It can be a valuable way to both stretch your points and save you money, but you need to do the math to determine whether cash, points, or a combination is the best value. That brings us to the question of what is the value of a point? Fortunately, there's a blog that is dedicated to hotel loyalty programs called Loyalty Traveler, written by an American called Ric Garrido. He is extremely knowledgeable, and his analysis of the value of hotel programs and bonus offers is rigourous and complete. Not always applicable to Canadians, but there are none better at what he does.

There are a lot of aspects of point collecting that I haven't touched on, including mileage running. That involves finding the cheapest flight that offers the most points, usually through a combination of bonus offers and convoluted routing. Earning points is not the only goal of a mileage run, though. So is gaining elite status. Those who fly many thousands of miles a year enjoy perks such as upgrades and special treatment that frequent fliers find worthwhile. If you're interested in that aspect of travel rewards, there are two blogs, One Mile at a Time and View from the Wing, that cover the subject well. And I've also mentioned flyertalk before. This is a forum by and for frequent fliers and points junkies. You can find your airline or hotel program by jumping to the forum on Miles & Points.

Finally, on Thursday, October 7, the Toronto Star published a special section on travel rewards. In the search field, type "travel rewards" to find a list of the articles that appeared in the print version.

That concludes the series on points and miles. I'll keep my eye out for good deals and from time to time pull together the best ones in a post. Safe travels.

Points 8: BMO Club Sobeys MasterCard Snafu

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. Seems like the final points blog on best websites will now be number 9.

Yesterday afternoon (Wednesday, October 6), an anonymous comment was left on post Points 2: Earn Aeroplan Miles with No-Fee Credit Card. That was the post where I told you how the BMO Club Sobey's MasterCard earned you Club Sobeys points, points that could be automatically converted to Aeroplan miles. Well, fuggedaboutit.

The comment said: "Please note Club Sobeys Points earned on the new BMO Club Sobeys MasterCard are not eligible to be converted to Aeroplan Miles."

That sounded suspiciously like official corporate speak. I guess I should be flattered who's reading my blog.

So I searched the Club Sobey's website, particularly the pages relating to the BMO Club Sobeys MasterCard for any mention in the Terms and Conditions about this exception. Nothing.

I called Club Sobeys, where a very nice Customer Service Representative (CSR) told me that they had been informed just that day of this change to the Club Sobeys program. Customers who simply collect points and redeem for groceries will not be affected, but those who, like me, autoconvert to Aeroplan, will have points earned on the card saved, and when the number of points required for a grocery redemption is reached, will receive a grocery gift card by mail.

Now, I'm speculating here, but I think the reason for this sudden, unannounced, and after the fact change, is that BMO offers a number of credit cards affiliated with Air Miles, while other banks are tied to Aeroplan. There are probably exclusivity agreements that are being breached if the Club Sobeys arrangement is construed as BMO offering Aeroplan miles, even indirectly.

Again I'm speculating, but it sounds like someone didn't do their due diligence on this one when BMO bought CitiBank's Club Sobeys business.

This certainly isn't any way to run a loyalty program, the purpose of which is to keep customers happy, and well, loyal. If you're a Sobeys shopper who likes to redeem for groceries, this won't make any difference to you. The BMO Club Sobeys MasterCard could still be worth your while. In effect, it now acts just like the PC Financial MasterCard from President's Choice.

But if, like me, the only attraction of the BMO Club Sobey's MasterCard, and indeed of the Club Sobey's program period, is the conversion to Aeroplan miles, then this is a huge disappointment. That's what I told (nicely) the CSR, and asked her to pass my comments on. She said she expected to get the same reaction from other customers.

I've already made a purchase on the card to qualify for the enrolment bonus, which contrary to my expectation, won't be converted to Aeroplan miles. I'll pay my bill and cancel the card.

Points 7: Priority Club

Priority Club is the hotel loyalty program of the Intercontinental Hotels Group (IHG) and includes such well-known brands as Holiday Inn, Crowne Plaza, and Staybridge Suites. As I mentioned in my last post, it was the program that got me started in the points game.

About six years ago, we were staying at a Holiday Inn in Montreal with a group of friends and one of them suggested that we join the program because we'd get a free continental breakfast. When I got home I checked my points total online and discovered I was a long way from a free night. I started searching for other ways to add points to my account and a points junkie was born.

I earn a lot of points with Starwood because of the credit card. Unfortunately, Priority Club doesn't offer an affiliated card to Canadians (they do in the U.S.); but I still collect their points for the occasional stay rather than crediting to an airline because Priority Club offers so many other ways to earn points.

To illustrate: I have only one stay at an IHG property this year, which netted me 1500 base points (10 points per dollar spent, room+dinner+bar tab), but I earned thousands more bonus points using codes I entered online prior to my stay. You can find a list of these codes at the Rewards Canada site. And I've earned thousands more, nearly 20K in all, through a variety of other ways, such as surveys and contests.

For example, right now Priority Club is running a contest called The Anywhere Challenge. Each week, you have to guess the mystery location based on a photo and word clues. A new challenge appears each Tuesday and awards 2,000 points to every person who guesses correctly the first day, declining to 500 points for the correct answer on Friday. You can enter by clicking the link, above. And if you're not a Priority Club member yet, you can join.

I won 3,000 points in the first two weeks (the contest runs for eight), but not because I'm a geographical genius. It's because there's a thread on a points hound website called flyertalk where people even more obsessive than I am quickly come up with the answer. Here's the link. Be sure to go to the last page for the latest discussion.

Free nights begin at 15K points, though occasional PointBreaks rates offer some hotels for only 5K. So my one stay, and persistent point-grubbing has earned me a free night. Not only that, because I've earned 20K points in a year, I've qualified for gold status, an elite level of membership (platinum is tops) that gets me preferential treatment, such as free room upgrades.

IHG (especially the Holiday Inn brand) is one of the biggest hotel chains, so there's almost always an HI where you want to stay, whether you're earning or redeeming. And with easy to earn bonuses, you don't have to stay a lot in order to earn status and free nights. So if you want to focus on only one hotel program, I'd recommend Priority Club.

Points 6: Starwood Preferred Guest Program

Last time, I explained how joining hotel loyalty programs, even if you stay only once, is worthwhile, because it allows you to credit points to your favourite airline frequent flier program.

Of course hotel programs can be valuable for themselves, especially if you are loyal to one chain. Wyndham (Ramada, Super 8, Howard Johnson, Travelodge, Days Inn), Marriott, and Best Western each have several thousand properties worldwide, which makes it easy to find one in the location you're staying. And if the rate is competitive, earning points toward a free night might be the deciding factor. I belong to all these programs (of course), but only in order to credit stays to airline plans. I focus on two plans for actually collecting points: Starwood and Priority Club.

I've told you that I have a Starwood Preferred Guest (SPG) American Express card. Before Amex, it was affiliated with MBNA, a division of Bank of America that issues credit cards in Canada. It was a no fee card then and was the best travel rewards card on the market, given the value SPG points have both for redeeming for hotel rooms and for swapping (with bonuses) into airline plans. Over the last five years, I've earned over 150K SPG points, which I've redeemed for flights, airline miles, and hotel stays. I've also earned points for stays at Starwood hotels (Sheraton, Westin, Le Meridien) when the rate was a better deal than burning points. And sometimes bonus offers, like last year's "Stay twice, get a free night" offer make paying for a room worthwhile.

I've just done that again recently, something points hounds call a "mattress run". The idea is to find a rate which earns points or rewards that are more valuable than the rate paid. Here's what I did. I recently received two offers from Starwood: one was the current general offer of double points for each stay; the other was a targeted offer (since I hadn't stayed at a Starwood property in a while) of 25% off my next reward redemption if I had a stay by October 31. So I went to the Starwood site and looked for a low rate. I found the Four Points by Sheraton Niagara Fallsview for $69 night. And then I found a package deal for $99 a night which included a $45 dinner credit, so I booked that.

Here's how it works out for me. I earn 2 SPG points per dollar spent, so I'll get 200 points. But double points means 400. Taxes, parking ($20), and anything I spend on dinner over $45 (perhaps a glass of wine?) also earn points. And since I'm charging everything to my SPG Amex card, I'll earn another point for every dollar. I expect to get over 700 points. But at that rate I'd have to stay 10 times to get a free night at the Westin Harbour Castle, so that's not the real reason for our little jaunt.

When you redeem your SPG points for a 5-night stay, you receive the fifth night free. But that 25% discount offer earns another free night. Remember Palm Springs? The Westin Mission Hills Resort and Spa (I know, sounds swank) is 10K points a night, so a 5-night stay will cost me 30K points, not 50K. Put another way, since a night the Westin Mission Hills etc. is a little over US$300, my night in Niagara more than pays for itself.

I'll really hate it if I have to give up the SPG Amex next spring. I'm hoping that if the droves of former MBNA cardholders, like myself, who accepted the card because the annual fee was waived for the first year threaten to cancel, Amex either will reduce the annual fee or give a retention bonus.

Looks like I've gone way over my 500 words, so there'll have to be a separate post on Priority Club. That's only fitting, because Priority Club was where points collecting all began for me.

Points 5: U.S. Airline Frequent Flier Programs

When I described the SPG Amex card I explained the advantage of belonging to American frequent flier programs. But even if you don't have the annual spending that makes this card's fee worthwhile, there are other ways to earn miles in these plans.

Most of the airline programs offer a joining bonus. It's usually only 1,000 miles, but it's a nice start. However, you'll need to find ways to keep earning miles because most plans' points expire if you have no activity during a 12-24 month period.

You can, of course, take a flight, but for most of us leisure travelers, that's an occasional thing, and our choice of airline usually depends on price and schedule, not loyalty points.

But you can also fly on one airline and credit the miles to another airline, as long as they are both members of the same alliance. There are three global airline partnerships: Star Alliance, SkyTeam, and oneworld. For example, you can fly on United Airlines and credit the miles to Aeroplan, and vice-versa, because both Air Canada and United are members of the Star Alliance.

Remember I told you to join the loyalty program of every hotel you stay at? Here's why: you can earn miles in your chosen airline's frequent flier program. That's right: you can stay at the Hampton Inn or the Super 8 and earn Aeroplan miles (for example). You don't have to accept the hotel program's points. Join online prior to your stay. When you set up your account, in your "profile", set your earning preference to the airline program of your choice (you'll have to register your frequent flier number). You can change it as often as you want in order to keep the points in different plans alive.

And if you've earned a significant number of hotel points, but not enough for a free night, you may be able to swap them for airline miles. Many hotel plans let you do this, but they all have differing minimum point levels and exchange rates.

There's another way to keep frequent flier points alive and that's through Points.com. It's a free point tracking and swapping website and it allows swaps between HBC points and airline programs, including Aeroplan, Alaska, Cathay Pacific (Asia Miles), Delta, and US Airways. They do exact a hefty premium for their service, but if you want to keep points alive, or boost your total to the level where you can redeem for a flight, it might be worth it. You can even swap Petro Points, if you first exchange them for Asia Miles at the Petro Points site and then swap Asia Miles at Points.com.

There are also several annual-fee credit cards available to Canadians that earn points with U.S. airlines. I'll tell you where to find out about them when I describe the blogs and websites that I find useful. But first, I want to go into a bit more detail on hotel programs.

Points 4: Double-dipping

A faithful blog reader asks, "What about double-dipping?"

A very good question. So, before we continue with the advanced course material on hotel loyalty programs in Points 301, I'll explain how "double-dipping" can earn you extra credit (pun intended).

Essentially what points hounds mean by double-dipping is getting two sets of points on the same transaction, and it's a powerful strategy for padding your point and mile balances. For example, if I use a credit card that earns points, at a retailer that offers points, I'm getting points twice for the same purchase. In fact, the banks that issue Aeroplan VISA cards encourage this and point to it (groan) as an added benefit of their cards. They further encourage double-dipping with frequent bonus point promotions. For example, CIBC is currently offering to double the points earned when purchasing tickets on Air Canada. Earning bonus points while you're double-dipping might even be considered "triple-dipping".

So say you buy gas at Esso, using your CIBC Aeroplan VISA card, and you present your Aeroplan card. You earn 1 point per dollar because you used your credit card, and another point for every $3 dollars in gas because Esso is an Aeroplan retail partner. In effect, you earn 1 and 1/3 points per dollar you put on your card at Esso. You can make this easier for yourself and earn an extra 200 Aeroplan miles if you sign up for a Speedpass and link you credit card to your Aeroplan account. It's actually not as complicated as it sounds and here's the website that explains it all.

But it works with any point-earning card. You can earn AirMiles at the LCBO, or Shell, or Metro grocery stores, as well as Aeroplan miles, if you use your Aeroplan-branded credit card and present your AirMiles card at these (and other) AirMiles retail partners.

The same goes for the Club Sobeys BMO MasterCard I told you about in Points 201, part 1. You not only earn ½ Aeroplan mile for every dollar spent, but when you present your Aeroplan card (at Esso, or Home Hardware, for example) or AirMiles card, you earn those points too.

That means using the no-fee Club Sobeys MasterCard at Sobeys earns 1 Aeroplan mile for every dollar: you receive 1 Club Sobeys point for every dollar in groceries, which transfers into ½ Aeroplan mile, plus ½ Aeroplan mile for every dollar you put on the card.

If I shop at Sobeys and I use the SPG Amex card I told you about in Points 201, Part 2, (which I always do) and then transfer to Aeroplan and receive the 25% bonus, I'm getting 1 and 3/4 Aeroplan miles per dollar spent. Yes, I dipped, and then I dipped again.

In Points 301, I'll explain why you should sign up for multiple hotel and airline loyalty programs.

Points 3: Starwood Preferred Guest American Express Card

The problem with collecting Aeroplan miles is that millions of other Canadians do too. So when it comes time to redeem that flight on Air Canada or one of its Star Alliance partners, you're competing with a lot of other people for a few seats. Of course you can always pay more points for "extra access", but that could end up costing more than twice as much as a regular award.

However, few Canadians belong to the plans of the major U.S. airlines – American, Delta, United, and US Airways – so flights from Canadian cities are often readily available at the lowest rate, typically 25K points for a return economy class flight in North America.

That brings me to the Starwood Preferred Guest (SPG) American Express card. Starwood is the chain that includes Sheraton and Westin hotels, among others, and SPG is their loyalty program. You earn 2 SPG points for every dollar spent at Starwood hotels (bonus offers let you earn faster) and free nights start at 2,000 points, with most hotels in the 7-10K range. For example, both the Sheraton Centre and Westin Harbour Castle in Toronto are 7K points for a free night.

The SPG Amex card earns 1 SPG point for every dollar spent. MBNA used to be Starwood's partner, and the card was no-fee, which was a terrific deal, but early this year they switched to Amex and now their card costs $120 a year. Given Amex's limited acceptance and the less generous insurance benefits, it's generally not as good a deal as the Aeroplan bank cards.

Except SPG has one really big advantage: you can trade its points one for one with almost any airline's. And if you swap 20K points, they give you a 5K bonus, resulting in 25K airline miles. This amounts to 1¼ miles for dollar spent. So if you have the annual spending to justify a $120 annual fee card, the 25% extra miles and ability to redeem with virtually any airline might make this card worthwhile to you.

You can apply online, there's a 10K point sign-up bonus, and you'll be automatically enrolled in the SPG program.

I accepted the card last spring because Amex waived the annual fee for former MBNA card holders for the first year. They also offered an 11K point sign-up bonus and my wife got a card too. We recently swapped 20K of those points for 25K American Airlines Advantage miles for free return flights from Palm Springs to Toronto.

I plan to cancel the card next year unless Amex lowers the annual fee (in the U.S. it's only $65 a year) or offers a hefty renewal bonus. Otherwise, it won't be worth it to me. I'll bring the Club Sobeys MasterCard out of mothballs and focus on earning free Aeroplan miles with it.

The SPG card enables you to benefit from membership in a host of airline plans. In Points 301 I'll explain why you should join the plan of every hotel chain you stay at as well.

Points 2: Earn Aeroplan Miles with No-Fee Credit Card

In Points 101 I began by saying I like to focus on travel rewards and highlighted three of the loyalty programs most popular with Canadians. Next I'd like to discuss credit cards that earn points and show you how you can earn travel without paying hefty annual fees.

Several Canadian banks issue credit cards that earn 1 Aeroplan mile for every dollar spent. And though they usually come with a sign-up bonus, they also carry an annual fee, generally in the $120 range (plus extra for secondary cards). Since I value an airline mile at about 1 cent (that's open to debate, but let's assume), the sign-up bonus can make the fee worthwhile for the first year, and even thereafter, if you spend over $25K a year. There are other benefits that come with these cards, such as travel insurance, that may have additional value for you, but if, like me, you're not a high roller and don't need those benefits, there's a free way to earn miles.

Remember how in Points 101 I mentioned you can earn Aeroplan miles by shopping at Sobeys? You do this by setting up your Club Sobeys account to automatically convert points to Aeroplan miles (2 Club Sobeys points equals 1 Aeroplan mile). But you can also earn points with a Club Sobeys MasterCard, issued by Bank of Montreal. It gives you 1 Club Sobeys point (equal to ½ Aeroplan mile) for every dollar you spend anywhere. And it's a no-fee card. So, pay $120 year for 1 Aeroplan mile per dollar spend, or pay nothing and get ½ Aeroplan mile per dollar spend. As I say, this could be a good deal if you're putting less than $25K a year on the card.

I got a few thousand Club Sobeys points/Aeroplan Miles when I originally signed up for the card about two years ago. It was issued by Citi Bank then, but this summer Bank of Montreal bought Citi's credit card business in Canada. Next month, I'll receive 2,600 Club Sobeys points (equalling 1,300 Aeroplan miles) when I get my new BMO Club Sobey's MasterCard and make a purchase with it, but you can cash in too. Club Sobeys and BMO have an introductory offer on right now. You'll get a welcome bonus of 2,000 Club Sobeys points/1,000 Aeroplan miles after making a single purchase with the card. You can apply online. Enter offer code CS1.

I carry the Club Sobeys MasterCard as a back-up when I travel, but haven't used it much. That's because I have a free card that earns even more Aeroplan miles (and miles on many other airlines besides, if I choose). I'll tell you about it in part 2.

So, if you're keeping track, I belong to PC points, but only incidentally; I don't actively collect. I don't collect Air Miles, mainly because of poor earning potential where I live. I belong to Club Sobey's, but only to earn Aeroplan miles. I have a Club Sobeys MasterCard, mainly for the sign-up bonuses. Aeroplan is a focus program, but I don't have the annual spending to make paying a $120 annual fee worthwhile when there are cheaper ways to earn miles.

Points 1: Canada's Favourite Points Programs

A couple of conversations with friends lately about my points and miles collecting hobby (obsession?) led to requests for me to post on the subject. So over the next few weeks, I'll try to cover the basics of how to get the most out of loyalty programs. Keep in mind, these are my preferences; they may not always be suitable for you, but I hope you'll find something of use here.

For starters, many points experts advise that you focus on one program so you can achieve rewards quickly. I take the opposite view. I believe in signing up for almost any program, focusing on several, and taking a patient, long-term approach. There are a number of reasons why, but one is that I collect with the goal of travel rewards (hotels stays and flights), rather than merchandise or cash-back rewards. That takes a lot of points and that takes time. I find the dream of travel to be more inspiring than cash-back, and the value of travel rewards greater than merchandise.

I'll begin by discussing three of the programs most popular with Canadians.

PC points are earned through a variety of activities with President's Choice Financial, chiefly through the use of its credit and debit cards. Points can also be earned through bonus offers at supermarkets that sell President's Choice products. Rewards come in the form of groceries and other products sold in the stores and are redeemed right at the checkout, using your credit or debit card. No separate membership card is required. Ease of earning and redeeming makes this program the right one for many people.

I do have a PC Financial chequing account, but not a credit card, so my point earning is minuscule. The reason I don't focus on this program is because $20 off groceries doesn't inspire me (see paragraph 2, above), and because I can use a different credit card at the supermarket to earn points in another program that has more value to me.

Air Miles can be earned through a variety of retailers and affiliated credit cards offered by the Bank of Montreal and American Express. It is perhaps the most popular loyalty card in Canada. It seems almost everyone has one. Except me.

The main reason Air Miles has little value to me is that few of their partners are located in my town, so I have little chance to earn. But if you're a BMO customer and can shop at Air Miles retail partners, this program can be valuable to you, especially if you like merchandise or grocery certificate rewards.

That brings me to Aeroplan. Though a separate company, Aeroplan is essentially Air Canada's frequent flier plan and offers reward flights not only on Air Canada, but also on its partners in the Star Alliance, such as United, US Airways, Lufthansa, Singapore, Air New Zealand, and many others. As well, points can be redeemed for hotel stays, car rentals, cruises, and merchandise.

Aeroplan miles can be earned through flights, retail and travel partners, and affiliated credit cards and other products at a range of financial institutions. Aeroplan's gas and grocery partners (Esso and Sobeys) are located in my town, and that's a big reason why I collect Aeroplan miles.

Next time, in Points 201, I'll take a look at points-earning credit cards, with the emphasis on earning points and miles without having to pay an annual fee.

Some People May be Offended (Seriously)

Hoo boy. This sure ain't gonna make me popular.

I'm here to argue in defence of the right to offend; to express views others find offensive; to do perfectly legal things that others may be offended by; even to be an obnoxious, stupid, loutish human being as long as you don't actually hurt anybody else.

I don't advocate doing it gratuitously; I just think that giving offence is not, and should not be, a crime.

Some recent cases have caused a global media feeding frenzy around the issue. One was the plan by some Muslims to build an Islamic centre a few blocks from Ground Zero. Another was the antics of Florida lunatic Terry Jones with his on again, off again plans to commemorate the ninth anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States by burning a Qur'an.

But unless you live in my neck of the woods, you probably haven't heard of this one: a group of extreme anti-abortion protesters lined a major thoroughfare in my hometown recently, displaying large photos of aborted fetuses. The graphic nature of the images upset a lot of people and the local council has directed township staff to see if there isn't some legal way to prevent them from doing it again.

Well, regardless of whether I think these activities are objectionable or even offensive, I have to say the Muslims, Mr. Jones, and the anti-abortion protesters should be allowed to do as they please.

Setting aside the American examples, our Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees Canadians "freedom ... of expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication" (section 2, subsection b). Subsection c. guarantees us "freedom of peaceful assembly".

Now either these fundamental rights, entrenched in our constitution, mean something, or they don't. They aren't conditional on us finding the views expressed agreeable and inoffensive. They're there precisely to protect the rights of those with unpopular views.

As those of you who know me will readily attest, I'm easily offended. Lord knows there's plenty of human folly and wickedness to keep me outraged a good part of my waking hours. But I don't expect the government to pass laws making such activities illegal. I wish it would, but I'm not holding my breath (chiefly because it's frequently various levels of government that have incurred my ire).

No, what I do is, I try to get on with my day. If that doesn't work, I blog. It's cheaper than therapy.

I don't wish to be insensitive. I acknowledge that such images are disturbing, and yes, offensive to many people. And I do believe that freedom of expression is not absolute. For example, we do have provisions in the criminal law of Canada against hate speech. And that seems to me a sensible, if not always easily discernable place to draw the line.

But the case of the anti-abortion protesters in Port Perry is not about that. These are people with an extreme view expressing it in an extreme way. That offends many other people. But that shouldn't be a crime.

Action Plan

My doorbell rang the other day.

There was a slightly pudgy middle aged man on my porch. "I'm here to put up your sign," he said. A short, dumpy-looking woman next to him nodded.

"What sign?" I asked.

"Why, your Economic Action Plan sign, of course." He pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Sorry," he said, "they're new." The short woman nodded some more.

"Why do I need an Economic Action Plan sign?"

"We're putting them everywhere. Beside roads, on trees, in windows, on uninhabited islands. It's just your lawn's turn, that's all. It is Canada's Economic Action Plan after all. Your lawn is a part of Canada, isn't it?"

I assured him my lawn was not a socialist-separatist lawn, but I was doubtful that it had been getting any action.

The short woman handed him a blue cardigan. He put it on and began to explain patiently how Canada's Economic Action Plan worked. "So far we've installed 143,849,594 signs. That's created jobs for a lot of sign makers. And then there are all those working at newspapers and radio and TV stations, not to mention the advertising agencies. Yes, my friend, Canada's Economic Action Plan has put thousands of Canadians back to work." The dumpy little woman was nodding vigorously.

I began to feel patriotic. But while he was here, I thought I'd ask him a few questions. "I thought you were a big fan of law and order. How come you're at odds with the police over the long gun registry?"

"As soon as all the police chiefs have had French language training, I'm sure they'll see things our way."

I was impressed by his logic.

"Well, then, how about scrapping the mandatory long-form census? Won't that cost more and give us worthless information?"

"We already know everything we need to know." The nodding was now non-stop.

I had to admit, his argument was bulletproof.

"Right then, where do you want that sign?"

I told him where to put it.

To Serve You Better

No question, we live in the golden age of b.s.

I remember when this first really hit home with me. It was some years back and we were staying in a high-rise hotel. Maybe you're like me and are old enough to remember when hotels had ice machines on every floor. Well, on this occasion, a card in the room announced that, to serve me better, ice machines were now located on the third, seventeenth, and twenty-ninth floors.

I've learned to dread those words "to serve you better". They're the modern equivalent of "duck and cover". You know a load is incoming; you're just not sure how big or which directions it's coming from.

It's not just "to serve you better". Companies also tell us our call is important to them. We know it isn't. If it were, they'd answer the darn phone.

And have you ever noticed that the ones with the worst customer service (insert name of phone company, bank, or airline here) waste bazillions on advertising telling us how great their service is? Why don't they spend some of that money on actually improving customer service instead?

Of course it isn't only companies. During elections, politicians shower us with promises we know they won't keep. Once elected, they do pretty much what they condemned the previous guys for doing when they were in office.

The common thread here is that we know we're being lied to. In fact, I'm sure that they know, we know. They just expect us to be good sports and play along. To believe our teeth will be whiter, our clothes brighter.

And that's what really riles me. It's not that I object to being fed a steady diet of b.s. (well, OK, I do). It's that I'm expected to smile and agree it tastes like chocolate pudding.

I was in a local grocery store a while back. You probably know the one; it's famous for its supply chain problems. In layman's terms: it never has the specials advertised in its weekly flyer. Anyway, hope springs eternal, and I went in looking for three items in the meat department. I didn't see any of them in the display cases, so I enquired of a friendly fellow behind the counter.

They did not have any of item A, he cheerfully informed me. Ditto for item B. Beginning to feel a little like John Cleese in a cheese shop, I asked about item C, with predictable results. His smile never wavered. "OK?" he chirped.

"OK?" I spluttered. "Why would it be OK? You haven't had a single item you advertised that I was looking for." I was beginning to work myself up into a fine state of Cleese-ness.

But then I saw his face fall and I felt bad. Like I'd told him his puppy was ugly.

So maybe it's better if we just play along. I mean, where's the harm? And it does seem to give them so much pleasure. Seems mean to spoil their fun.

Let's Remember Who We Are

The first boatload of migrants was soon followed by others. They were fleeing hunger, oppression, and sectarian violence in their island homeland. Their religion, customs, and language were foreign, even repugnant, to many Canadians. Some among them had violently opposed the government in their native land. They carried disease.

I'm speaking, of course, of the Irish; but when thousands arrived at Québec in the late 1840's, Canadians took them in. The courage, generosity, and compassion required to do so became foundational in the Canadian national character.

Only ninety years later, to our everlasting shame, we forgot who were. When 907 Jews, fleeing Nazi persecution, approached our shores in the S.S. St. Louis, we turned them away. They were forced to return to Germany, where only a few would survive the war.

To our credit, we have done much better since. In 1956 we admitted 37,000 Hungarians fleeing Soviet repression. And when hundreds of thousands of Vietnamese took to the sea in leaky boats in the chaotic aftermath of war, Canadian families, church groups, and community organizations took in 60,000 of them.

Canada has one of the most generous refugee policies in the world. We should be proud of that. But it bothers some people. I'm not sure why the fear of being occasionally taken advantage of should be greater than the fear of being responsible for sending someone back to his or her native country to face persecution, imprisonment, or death.

Sri Lanka has just come through a twenty-six year long civil war. Atrocities and human rights abuses were committed on both sides. Canadians have been bombarded by wildly differing versions of who the good guys are and who the villains are. We are understandably confused.

I don't know if the Tamils are real refugees or not, part of a criminal or terrorist conspiracy or not, a danger to Canada or not. But there's a process in place to find out; let it work.

And it does work. When 600 Chinese economic migrants arrived on our shores in 1999 claiming refugee status, all but 24 were sent home.

Canada processed 34,000 refugee claims last year; that's nearly 700 per week. The arrival of 492 Tamils is not going to overwhelm the system.

So let's just tune out the overheated rhetoric coming from politicians who seem more anxious to take the spotlight off their own problems with the census, the police, and the veterans.

At a minimum, the Tamils deserve the benefit of the doubt and fair treatment under Canadian and international law.

But we can do better than that: we can treat these people with compassion. Let's remember who we are: let's act like Canadians.

Kurt Browning, My Hero

We've all done things we're not proud of. Things that make us cringe to recall them. Things our wives won't let us forget.

For me, a washing machine and cargo pants were involved. Twice. So were my cell phone and my passport. They should put warning labels on those things.

But Kurt Browning has shown he's in a different league from the rest of us mere mortals.

By now I'm sure you've heard how the former Canadian and world figure skating champion torched his Forest Hill home when he attempted to dry the seats of his Porsche convertible with a leaf blower. You read that right.

You want to laugh; I know you do. So go ahead.

Finished now? But before you consign Kurt to the ranks of this year's finalists for the Darwin Awards, and forever equate his name with klutz instead of lutz, consider for a minute the sheer manly awesomeness of what he attempted. No wimpy hairdryer for Kurt; he used a freakin' leaf blower!

Now, I have a leaf blower, an electric one, and I have to hold the trigger down, or it stops. A safety feature they call it, something dreamed up by women or lawyers, probably women lawyers. Did that stop Kurt? No siree!

And here we enter the realm of speculation, because, understandably, Kurt is reluctant to share the secrets of his seat-drying technique, but I'm betting he had to duct tape that trigger down. Woulda probably worked too, except (and you guys will relate to this) Kurt got distracted by some other things he had to do and left the leaf blower running and when he got back to check on how things were going, well, Porsche and garage were burning nicely.

Of course, and again I'm speculating here, it might have been a gas-powered leaf blower he was using. In which case I'd award him a 9.9 for awesomeness!

So while I suspect his wife is never again going to let him use the toaster unsupervised, and every man he meets for the rest of his life is going to slap his back and ask if his seat is dry, I also know that deep down we guys are going to harbour a sneaking admiration for Kurt Browning.

Because, in that Red Green, Possum Lodge world of the middle-aged male imagination, he is our Icarus.

Keep your picks on the ice, buddy.

Just Peachy

It's late August and that means the peaches are here. Lots of them. I love peaches, so I always buy a basket, and then... Then most of them grow moldy sitting on the kitchen counter.

But this week I offer a two-fer, two easy ways to use up a lot of peaches.

Start with a dessert recipe: Peach Sorbet. We've had this one in the form of a yellowed newspaper clipping taped into a recipe binder for over twenty years. We'd forgotten it was there until last week. Then we rediscovered it and made it for company. I say "we" because my wife is the sorbet maker at our house.

Peel and pit 10 medium-sized peaches. I find peaches easier to peel if you pour boiling water over them in a large bowl. After about a minute, drain off the hot water. Slice around the circumference of the peach and the skin should slide right off. Cut the peaches into slices.

Bring 2 cups of water, 2 cups of sugar, and 2 ounces of freshly-squeezed lemon juice to a boil in a large pot. Add the peaches. Reduce heat, and poach about 10 minutes, until the peaches are soft.

If you have a hand blender, purée the peaches right in the pot. Otherwise, remove the peaches to a blender or food processor and purée. Return the puréed peaches to the syrup in the pot and mix thoroughly.

Pour into a large shallow pan, cover with plastic wrap, and freeze for about 12 hours. You could also pour into molds, or ice cube trays. Makes about 10-12 servings. Leftovers keep well, covered, in the freezer for a week.

When ready to serve, let soften a little on the counter and scoop, scrape, or cut into cubes. A scoop of vanilla ice cream is optional.

I mentioned this was a two-fer. You can also make a great cocktail from this: the Peach Daiquiri. To a blender, add 2 ounces of white rum, 1 ounce of freshly-squeezed lime juice, and about 6, 1-inch cubes of the peach sorbet. Blend for about 10 seconds and pour into a Margarita glass.

I have a wicked good Peaches 'n' Cream Pie recipe too. If you're interested, I'll share it next week.

Census Nonsense

Who'da thought the country would get all worked up over the census? And in the middle of the summer, too.

Every five years, we have a national census. Most of us fill out a short form. About one in five of us is selected at random to complete a longer, more detailed version. The Harper government wants to make filling out the longer version voluntary. So what's the big deal?

Think of the country as a classroom. If you want to know whether or not the class understands, say the Pythagorean Theorem, you have to give the test to everybody. Just asking the keeners who put their hands up won't give you an accurate picture. Same for the census.

If you make filling out the longer version voluntary, the kind of people who'll do so won't form a representative sample of the country as a whole. In fact, they'll be a certain kind of person; same for those who won't (insert stereotypes here).

And the data you collect not only won't be reliable, it also won't be directly comparable to the data gathered from all the previous censuses. And did I mention all this voluntariness costs $30 million dollars more than doing it the usual way?

So why are the Tories doing this? Good question.

Forget all the nonsense about going to jail for refusing to fill out the long-form. No one ever has. And anyway, if the government wants to get rid of that provision in the legislation, they can; I'm sure no one would object. This is what's called "changing the channel" in political circles.

The Tories themselves have given an ideological reason: some people don't like giving information to the government. They haven't provided any data to back up this assertion and it sounds like they bought it ready-made off a Tea Party website. Anyway, they haven't said we won't have to tell the government how much money we made come tax time, or whether we've had anything to drink tonight when we get pulled over in a R.I.D.E. spot check, so that's just another red herring.

Many people suspect the real reason is, in fact, ideological though: the census reveals inconvenient truths that don't agree with the Tories' fantasy view of the world. Stockwell Day's recent musings about the need to build prisons for the perpetrators of unreported crimes provides a good example. Statistics show crime rates are falling, but if the Tories want to build prisons, that's embarrassing. Critics suspect the Tories would like to wish homelessness, poverty, inequality, and a host of other social issues away. It'll be easier if there's no census data available to contradict them.

Good public policy, not to mention sound business decisions, requires accurate information, not wishful thinking. That's why the Tories have encountered opposition over their action not just from provincial and municipal governments, but also from not-for-profits and businesses. It's a tough world out there; Canada can't afford to fight blindfolded with one hand tied behind its back. That's why this latest boneheaded move by the Harper Conservatives matters.

The Return of the Wetsuit

Seems the wetsuit was hanging right there in the closet all along. And this week it stepped out, loud and proud.

Undeterred by decades of falling crime rates ("Statistics: we don't need no stinking statistics"), Treasury Board Secretary Stockwell Day announced the deficit-strapped federal government was spending $9.5 billion -- that's with a "b" -- on new prisons for -- wait for it -- imaginary prisoners!

Seems he believes a lot of crimes go unreported (he's probably right, especially if stupidity in elected officials is a crime), but he declined to elaborate on how the theoretical criminals would be apprehended and convicted so they could be put in the brand, spanking new fantasy Club Feds.

Seems to me Stock could be on to something though. I mean, the original price tag for the G8/20 summit ballooned from $179 million to $1.2 billion (there's that "b" word again), and what happened? The hooligans were given free rein to burn police cars while the police arrested hundreds of innocent people and then released them without charge.

So if the Conservatives are looking for ways to waste a few more billions of our tax dollars, I have some helpful suggestions.

1. Not just crime is down: so are auto sales. So let's build roads! We could call them Harper Highways: they'd have only right lanes, all their bridges would be burned, and every one would be a dead-end.

2. Communism may be dead, but there's still Cuba and North Korea and that pesky Al Qaeda to worry about. We could blow $16 billion (I know) on new fighter jets. That ought to deter them. What? We're already doing that? Damn, you can't even make this stuff up.

3. OK, I got a good one: how about we gut next year's census so the information is totally worthless, and -- this is the best part -- it will actually cost $30 million more! You're kidding. This is harder than I thought.

4. I know, we'll build an artificial lake, see, and... Oh, for cryin' out loud!

5. All right then, how about this: a national program to detect and treat scurvy. You know, that scourge of all true Canadians; it's right there in the history books. You can look it up. A few billion ought to suffice to establish a national network of treatment centres to feed patients a diet rich in Alberta beef. Unnecessary? Won't work, you say? Obviously you're not a Conservative. Medical science (and all other science) be damned; trust your gut. Stephen Harper told us to.

I'm sure you have ideas of your own. Write or email the P.M. or your M.P. Tell them you'd like to get in on the fun.

The Mint Julep

After a few weeks diversion, it's back to summer cocktails. While summer may be half over, the back yard still beckons and there's still plenty of time to relax with one of summer's most enjoyable cocktails.

The Mint Julep, admittedly, is not for everyone. The popularity of brown liquors in cocktails has waned in the last few decades, and bourbon is not widely appreciated in Canada. That's a pity, because if you're willing to give it a try, the Mint Julep offers some mighty fine contemplative sipping for a lazy, late summer afternoon.

Bourbon is an American whiskey (they spell it with an "e" following Irish tradition; Canadians follow the Scotch spelling, without) made primarily from corn, and usually in Kentucky. It must be aged in charred oak barrels for a minimum of two years, though most are aged longer. It is at least 40% alcohol by volume (80 proof), though some varieties are stronger. Bourbon has aromas and flavours of toffee, dried fruit, and vanilla, among others. Those who enjoy it "neat", or straight, add a splash of water to allow the flavours to open up. Some prefer a few ice chips instead. Some decry this as heresy.

Jim Beam is one brand you can always find in Ontario, and if you want to try the Mint Julep, but not sure you'll ever drink the rest of the bottle, miniatures are sometimes available. Or use it in cooking: it's a great ingredient in barbeque sauce.

Maker's Mark is a premium brand, but very expensive in Ontario compared to its price in the U.S. If you're traveling south of the border and want to bring a Bourbon home to try, Maker's Mark is a good choice.

My personal favourite is Wild Turkey 101. Rarely available in Ontario (though "regular" 80 proof Wild Turkey sometimes is), it's one of the reasons I look forward to a trip to the U.S. High in alcohol and almost viscous, it is intensely flavourful. Add a little ice and those flavours slowly unfold. A fine sippin' whiskey.

In the days before refrigeration, Southerners added mint to their Bourbon to provide a cooling sensation in the summer and violà, the Mint Julep was born. It retains a strong association with the American South: for example, it is the traditional drink sipped at the Kentucky Derby. About 120,000 are downed each year.

As with most cocktails, there is debate over the "proper" way to prepare them, so what you're getting is my version. Feel free to alter the recipe to suit yourself.

Muddle three or four mint leaves in the bottom of a Collin glass with 1/2 ounce of simple syrup. Add 2 ounces of Bourbon and fill with crushed or shaved ice. Stir well, garnish with a mint leaf, and sip through a straw. Hum a few verses of My Old Kentucky Home.

A Week in Boston – Part 2

During our week in Boston, we stayed in a Hyatt Summerfield Suites hotel in suburban Waltham. Intended primarily as longer stay, executive accommodation for the many high tech firms in the area, we shared a two-bedroom, two-bath suite with another couple. The rate for a two-bed suite isn't that much more than for a one-bed, but sharing effectively cut our room rate in half. Our suite also had a full kitchen and living area. Parking, wi-fi, breakfast, and a light evening meal Monday through Thursday were all complimentary. The hotel also had a pool, spa, fitness room and business center. A complimentary hotel shuttle operated in a six-mile radius. It's a great choice for families or groups of friends like us.

We got even greater value by taking advantage of a little-known offer available at Costco. Members can purchase $100 worth of Hyatt check (sic) certificates for $80, effectively taking 20% off their rate. You simply use them like cash when you check out. There was a Costco a few minutes away and I called ahead to make sure there were some in stock (stores sometimes run out). I know it sounds almost too good to be true, but it's for real.

And remember: no matter which hotel you stay at, check to see if it's part of a chain. If so, go online and sign up for the loyalty program. It doesn't matter if you'll never stay there again; in your member profile you can set your earnings preference to earn points in the airline miles plan of your choice instead of the hotel's plan.

We stayed in Waltham because hotel rates in Boston, especially in summer, are very expensive. By sharing a two-bedroom suite and using the check certificates, we saved at least 75% off the price of a room in a downtown hotel. But we still had to get downtown.

Fortunately, Boston has an extensive and inexpensive transit system, the MBTA, or "T". A week-long pass cost only $15. We drove to the nearby station, parked for $5.75 a day, and took a 35-minute ride into the city. Inconvenient, yes, but our group of four couples saved literally thousands on the cost of accommodation.

And when I got home, I got a piece of good news. You may recall my writing on March 31 about for-a-fee U.S. dollar credit cards available from Canadian banks, which save you the 2.5% "foreign currency conversion fee" you're charged if you use your Canadian credit card in the U.S. I mentioned that BMO waived the $25 annual fee the first year for my card, but the good news in the mail when I got home was that if I spend $1,000 per year (no problem there), the fee will be waived every year from now on. So, to summarize: get the card and save 2.5%; spend $1,000 per year and it's free.

Cheaping out when you travel robs you of most of its pleasure, but finding ways to save money lets you travel more and leaves you with more money for the things you enjoy.

A Week in Boston -- Part 1

Nothing turns out exactly the way you plan.

I'm just back from a week in Boston. Some of the things I did, I hadn't planned on, and I didn't do some of the things I was looking forward to, but it was an interesting and enjoyable time anyway.

For example, I hadn't planned on being hit by a cyclist while crossing the street (he was running a red light on the curb side of a van). No serious damage, just shaken up and a bruised forearm.

I didn't get to the Boston Brewing Company, home of Sam Adams Boston Lager. Sam Adams brews were available everywhere -- the Sam's Summer Ale was especially tasty as a lunch-time beer -- so a long subway ride to the brewery just didn't seem worth it. I've seen plenty of breweries. I didn't eat at Cheers either, but I did make it to the gift shop in the Quincy Market for a few souvenirs.

I did get to Watch City Brewing in Waltham, though. No bacon-flavoured beer, but plenty of other weird and wonderfully flavoured brews made on site and great food. Recommended. And everywhere we ate, there were locally brewed beers of high quality. I tried as many as I could.

For me, the most memorable parts of a holiday are often the things you didn't know about until you stumbled upon them. Most memorable taste was the scallops at Legal Seafood in Boston. Grilled simply, they were still the slightest bit translucent on the inside -- perfection. And most memorable meal was lunch on the rooftop deck at 7th Wave in Rockport on Cape Ann, an hour north of Boston. A breeze off the ocean on a hot day, a view of the harbour, and a new sandwich discovery -- how come no one thought of this before? -- the smoked salmon BLT.

Most over-rated restaurant was Giacomo's on Hanover Street in the North End's Little Italy. TripAdvisor rates it #4 of nearly 2,000 Boston restaurants and #1 for Italian food. It's small and crowded and the line forms before the doors open at 5:00. The prices are reasonable, especially for wine, and while the food is good (not great), the atmosphere is more fast food than fine dining. Cash only, no desserts. Go across the street to Mike's Pastries.

There was also a Red Sox game, a day-long bus tour of the city, the Common, Freedom Trail, the Aquarium, the Market, and Harvard. Probably my favourite day, the day spent touring the campus and some of the museums reminded me that learning and scholarship still do matter in a world that sometimes seems dominated by reality TV and Shakespalin.

Next post, I'll write about our accommodations, getting around Boston, and some ways we found to make our holiday more affordable.

What Do They Drink in Boston?

We're on our way to Boston in a few days for a week's holiday. I've never been there before, and I have one burning question: what do you suppose they drink there?

Boston, of course, is home to the original tea partiers. But they didn't drink the tea. Quite the opposite: they threw it into the harbour, and I like to think their revolutionary zeal was primed with a libation or two before they headed out for the evening's festivities.

I suspect they know a thing or two about cocktails in Boston, because the two-piece glass and metal shaker preferred by professional bartenders is known as a Boston Shaker (the other style of shaker you frequently see with the screw-on cap and strainer is called a cobbler shaker).

Consulting a few cocktail books produces a good omen: there are several cocktails with Boston in their names. The Boston Cocktail (gin, apricot brandy, lemon juice, and grenadine) is perhaps a bit sweet for the heat of July. The Boston Cooler sounds more like it though: white rum, lemon juice, simple syrup, and club soda in a tall glass with lots of ice. And there are Boston versions of those old classics the Sidecar and the Sour. But like the Boston Cocktail, perhaps better saved for cooler days or evenings.

They obviously know their beer in Boston: Samuel Adams Boston Lager was one of the beers that began the American craft beer renaissance a quarter century ago. Named for a signer of the American Declaration of Independence, it's on my Top 10 Great Beers of the World list. The company that brews it, the Boston Beer Company, makes a range of seasonal and specialty brews. And a trivia note: Pawtucket Patriot Ale, the beer quaffed by Peter Griffin and his pals on Family Guy is said to have been inspired by Samuel Adams, though an episode of the show features a Willie Wonka-like Pawtucket Pat and a brewery run by Chumbawumbas.

We're not actually staying in Boston, but rather in Waltham, about 20 kilometres up the Charles River. Known as the "Watch City", it was a centre of clock and watch making for a century beginning in the mid-1800's. Like me, you may have a vague memory of having seen the name Waltham on a clock somewhere. Today, Waltham boasts the Watch City Brewing Company, a brewpub with an adventurous streak. The latest video on their website features a tasting of their Bacon Cask Beer. You can click on the link to find out how they make it and how it tastes. Needless to say, Watch City Brewing is on my "must do" list in Waltham.

And of course, no trip to Boston would be complete without a visit to that iconic saloon where everybody knows your name, Cheers. Actually the Bull and Finch, it's on all the tours, so I'm looking forward to bellying up to the bar just like Norm and Cliff did. And just like Norm, when asked what I'd say to a beer, I'll reply, "Daddy wuvs you!"

Adding Some Mojo to Your Mojito

The Mojito is one of those older cocktails that has become very popular of late, turning up on drinks menus everywhere. It's a long drink, a combination of rum, lime juice, sugar, and mint. It does require a little extra effort, as you'll see, but it's well worth it.

It originated in Cuba, where, before refrigeration, the addition of mint lent a cooling sensation to the mixture of rum, lime juice, and sugar, basically the recipe for British Navy Grog (hence the term "limeys" for British sailors). The same effect is credited for the presence of mint in the American Mint Julep, and some authorities (American?) believe the Mojito was inspired by the Julep. The availability of ice and soda water gave the drink its present form, and while Hemingway preferred the Daiquiris at La Floridita, he drank his Mojitos at La Bodeguita.

You'll need to make some simple syrup to start. Since sugar is difficult to dissolve in cocktails, bartenders use simple syrup. It's easy to make: heat equal parts water and white sugar (say 1 cup of each) until the sugar is completely dissolved. Let cool, and store in a clean glass bottle in the fridge. It'll keep a week or two.

In your cocktail shaker, combine 2 ounces of white rum (Bacardi is a good choice, but a real Cuban rum, like Havana Club, will make your Mojito taste closer to the original), 1 ounce of freshly-squeezed lime juice, and 1 ounce of simple syrup. Then add a sprig of mint, one with, say, 4 or 5 leaves.

About the mint. Many people have it growing in their gardens, and if it's a variety you like the taste of, it'll work fine. But if you're trying to replicate an authentic Hemingway hangover, there is a Cuban variety specifically for Mojitos. It's available at Richter's Herbs in Goodwood and is called, ahem, Mojito Mint. Or you can ask me for some. Like all mint, it grows profusely and spreads rapidly.

Muddle these ingredients in the bottom of the shaker. To muddle means to mash fruit or herbs to extract their juice and/or flavour. You can buy a muddler in kitchen stores; it looks like a pestle in a mortar and pestle, same idea. Or simply use the back of a wooden spoon.

Now add some ice, about half a cup. Shake until chilled and pour over ice in a Collins glass. Top with a few ounces of club soda and garnish with a second sprig of mint. Sip through a straw and imagine old Havana.

That's the basic Mojito, but of course there are variations if you want to add some mojo to your Mojito. If you have some fresh or frozen raspberries, muddle a few of them in there too for a Raspberry Mojito. Or use one of the many varieties of flavoured rums.

One variation, and it was actually my introduction to the Mojito in Key West a few years ago, is the Vanilla Mojito. It's made with Cruzan Vanilla Rum, of course, but also without the addition of the splash of soda at the end. Use about a cup of ice in your shaker and after shaking until very well chilled, strain into a martini glass. More like a Mint Daiquiri really, I've seen this variation in a few places. You could, of course, make this style of Mojito with any variety of rum, but if using a sweetened flavoured rum, reduce or omit the simple syrup.

¡Viva Cuba!

Frugal Cocktails

Throughout June, I've been telling you how to make some classic summer drinks, like the Margarita, Sangria, Long Island Iced Tea, and my own concoction, the Aphrodite. To make some of these drinks, maybe you've had to buy a few ingredients you didn't have, such as triple sec, blue Curacao, or tequila. Maybe you're wondering what else you can do with them and all those left over mixes and juices? So this week I'm going to show you how to make ten more summer drinks from the ingredients you have on hand.

That sour mix you made for Long Island Iced Tea? Last week I mentioned how you could use it (made with added lemon instead of lime juice) to make a Margarita. It will taste slightly different, but maybe you'll prefer it.

And remember our Margarita recipe? Well, you can make a Blue Margarita, just like in chi-chi Tex-Mex places. Simple: just substitute blue Curacao for the triple sec in the recipe.

You can make a Hawaiian Margarita by combining 1 1/2 ounces tequila, 1 ounce orange juice, and 2 ounces of pineapple juice. Serve blended or on the rocks.

How about a Pineapple Daiquiri? Blend 2 ounces white rum, 1/2 ounce triple sec, 3 ounces pineapple juice, and 1/2 ounce lime juice with ice until slushy. Serve in a Margarita glass and sip through a straw. Tip: if you don't have Margarita glasses, large bowl, red wine glasses make good substitutes, especially for frozen drinks.

Or try a Blue Lagoon: 2 ounces vodka, 1 ounce blue Curacao, 2 ounces pineapple juice, and a teaspoon of triple sec. Shake with ice in a cocktail shaker and strain into a martini or margarita glass.

Why not use those Collins glasses for a Tom Collins? Over ice, combine 2 ounces of gin and 1 1/2 ounces of sour mix. Top off with club soda. Substitute vodka for gin and you have a Vodka Collins. Tastes a lot like Smirnoff Ice or Mike's Hard Lemonade. Like Mike's Hard Cranberry? Just add a couple of ounces of cranberry juice as well.

Gin and Tonic is the quintessential summer cooler: 2 ounces of gin over ice in a Collins glass, fill with tonic, and add a squeeze of lime. I still remember the first one I ever had. It was made with Gordon's gin and that's still the way I like my G&T.

Rum and Coke, also know as a Cuba Libre is just as easy to make: 2 ounces of rum (white, amber, or dark) over ice in a Collins glass, fill with cola. Add a squeeze of lime (optional). I always think of my friend John when I drink these. I prefer mine with dark rum and without lime, but he always specified Bacardi (white), with a slice of lime in his. Only, his were much stronger!

Well, those are some of the basics. You can have the summer off, or for the more adventurous, follow the blog as, each week, I feature some of summer's more interesting cocktails, such as the Mojito and the Mint Julep.

Have a Happy Canada Day and a great summer! Cheers!

Coffee: The Right Drink for Canada?

HUNTSVILLE -- A report released today by the Tazer Institute concludes that coffee beats education when it comes to helping voters make the right choice. Estimates of its effect ranged from a small regular trumping a community college diploma, to an extra large double-double besting a Ph.D.

Rumours had been circulating since the 2008 federal election, when pundits claimed that the Harper Conservatives' success at the polls was due to their appeal to "the Tim Hortons drinking" segment of the electorate.

Speculation increased late in 2009 when Harper was a no-show at the United Nations, instead touring the Tim Hortons Innovation Centre in Oakville.

Observers sensed something was brewing last week when Quebecor Media launched its Sun News channel, dubbed "Fox News North". Dressed in a $3,000 suit, Quebecor Media vice-president and former CBC pundit and communications director for Stephen Harper, Kory Teneycke, explained, "We will offer the type of raw debate Canadians only find today in coffee shops."

Speaking at a news conference held at the $2 million drive thru specially constructed to host the G8 summit here, a spokesperson for the Institute explained how it had arrived at its findings. "We simply counted the number of Don Cherry bobbleheads in pickup trucks idling in coffee shop drive thrus. The number was highest in Conservative ridings. It was a no brainer, really."

Strangely, the effect was not observed in those who consumed coffee drinks with names ending in "-ino". "They tend to live in cities and take public transit," he explained, "Need I say more?"

A representative of the Canadian Taxcutters Federation confirmed the Tazer Institute findings. When asked what his group's studies had shown, he stated, "We don't need no academic elites doing 'so-called' studies. We know we're right. It's just common sense."

Tea Time

Over the first three weeks of our summer cocktail series, with the margarita, sangria, and Aphrodite, we're covered blended, on the rocks, punches, and shaken drinks. There's one other category of popular summer cocktail, and that's the long drink. And what better example than the Long Island Iced Tea?

Long drinks are served in a tall, cylindrical glass capable of holding about 350mL, or 12 ounces. They're usually called Collins glasses because of their association with the long drink of that name. We need a tall glass so there's room for lots of ice and a carbonated mixer.

The Long Island Iced Tea is all about balance, as you will see. It's a drink with a large number of ingredients and you will find some variation in recipes (as well as local names for the variations) if you go hunting on the internet. Here's my version, which is the result of many hours of rigorous testing.

Because of the small amounts of several of the ingredients, I find it easier to make up a double batch. You'll see why. Start with a glass measuring cup. Add 1 ounce each of vodka, gin, white rum, silver tequila, and triple sec. I told you there were a lot of ingredients. Don't leave any out, and be careful to measure accurately. As I said, this cocktail is about balance. Well made, you'll be able to detect the subtle presence of all the elements.

Next, add 1 1/2 ounces of sour mix to the measuring cup. Sour mix is that lemon-lime stuff you see added from a plastic jug in bars. It's often made from powders containing citric acid and artificial flavours and colours. But we don't go in for that stuff. Instead, remember the margarita mix you made a few weeks ago? The one where you added extra lime juice to Minute Maid Limeade frozen concentrate? Well, to make sour mix, follow the same directions, but instead of adding lime juice, add 4 ounces of freshly squeezed lemon juice. You now have a top-quality sour mix.

You'll end up with about a litre. It'll keep a week or so in the fridge and can be used in many other cocktails. Or you can freeze it in an ice cube tray and keep serving-sized amounts in a ziplock freezer bag. Or use the rest to make a slightly different tasting version of the margarita. But if you're like me, you'll probably use it all up making Long Island Iced Tea.

To assemble the L.I.I.T., half fill two Collins glasses with ice. Add half the liquor and sour mix combination to each glass, and top with about 4 ounces of Coca-Cola. Add a straw. Stir and sip.

This is a potent drink and is best enjoyed sitting down, preferably on a deck or dock in a comfortable chair with good company. Cheers!