Home of the Whopper

Many of you may not know this, but 500 Words enjoys the dubious distinction of being represented in the Canadian House of Commons by that Pinocchio of Parliament, Bev Oda.

Yep, the reality-challenged Minister (for now) of International Cooperation is the sitting member for the riding of Durham, which contains the township of Scugog (a name derived from the native Mississauga language, meaning "place of dirty snow banks"), which in turn nestles in its bosom, the idyllic burg of Port Perry.

True to its small town, Tory Ontario roots, Port Perry has a long tradition of electing Conservatives. And even with Oda's britches blazing brightly, that's not likely to change. Heck, the Conservatives could run an orangutan and it would win in Port Perry.

Now lest you think we're stupid, let me assure you we're not. For example, we may have the unfortunate tendency to vote in overwhelming numbers for politicians who like to slash health care, but we don't mean our health care. We mean somebody else's. Nothing draws a swarm of angry Port Perrians like a meeting about cuts to our local hospital. We get pretty riled if anyone threatens to mess with our schools, recreation facilities (especially ice rinks), or roads budget too. It's just that, like everybody else these days, we expect a tax cut as part of every federal, provincial, and municipal budget. Pretty clever, eh?

And we're certainly not dishonest either (or I suspect no more dishonest than most folks). Judging by the number of churches in town, you might even call us God-fearing. And that's where we part company with our commandment-busting MP.

Turns out this KAIROS organization she blackballed is made up of a bunch of Christian missionaries, for Pete's sake. You can look it up for yourself right here. Anglicans and Catholics and Presbyterians and Christian Reformed and United Church people. Just like we got here in Port Perry, going on missions to countries like Uganda and Honduras. And they're all working together, ecumenical-like, same as when we have the Good Friday walk, or the David Festival, or the World Day of Prayer.

So when our MP decides to bad mouth a bunch of Christian do-gooders and then tries to duck responsibility and lie about it, well it don't go down too well. Stephen Harper may think there's nothing wrong with that, but we know better. We know it's wrong. It's in the commandments, dude.

Confessions of a Port Perry Streetwalker, Part 1

A few weeks ago I wrote to my local councilor, Georgina Brock, and c.c.ed the mayor and the rest of council regarding their comments in the media on "jaywalking" in downtown Port Perry. Here's what I said:

Councilor Brock,

Last week, the Scugog Standard reported that you raised the issue of "jaywalking" at council and that some of your colleagues joined in commenting on dangerous walking in the downtown.

My chief concern is that "jaywalking" is a loaded term. It originated in America in the 1920's as an insult about "jays", country bumpkins confused by busy city streets, and it was popularized by pro-automobile interests at the time. According to historian Peter D. Norton in his book, Fighting Traffic:

"Before the American city could be physically reconstructed to accommodate automobiles, its streets had to be socially reconstructed as places where cars belong. Until then, streets were regarded as public spaces… Motorists' claim to street space was therefore fragile, subject to restrictions that threatened to negate the advantages of car ownership."

And so, within a few decades we went from requiring a man to walk in front of a vehicle to warn of its approach, to legal sanctions against the reckless "jaywalker". It's this view, that the streets belong to cars and not to people, that the use of the term "jaywalking" implies.

The recent improvements to Port Perry's downtown reflect a vision of a town where the streets are public space. It's surprising then, that when people respond in a natural way to this pedestrian-friendly environment by crossing the street, some councilors are alarmed.

One of your fellow councilors called it a way of life in the downtown. We should be proud of that fact, for everything about Queen Street suggests a welcoming place for people rather than a rapid thoroughfare for vehicles.

I live around the corner from you, on Heath Crescent. I'm no expert on traffic or urban planning, but I have been walking (and driving) around Port Perry for thirty years. I'd be happy to accompany you, or any other member of council or township staff, on a walk to downtown to share what I've observed.

Sincerely,

Aeneas Lane